I Eat Babies

Wow, haven't updated in forever....

2003-10-21T01:31:01Z

I just got back to school after managing to weasel my way out of a whole week. It's hell. But it's all good, because I got to see everyone again! I missed people. I actually missed history class! I scare me. I get to be Ch? Guevara for a day on Wednesday...we do this project where we dress up as a historical figure and act like them for a class...should be fun. Julie is being Hitler, of course. She's insane:) She made me promise to be her storm trooper and protect her, because she's going at the same time as Fidel Castro, Martin Luther King, and a few others who will definetly tear her to bits. Ah, the good times.

Speaking of the non-good times, I have to play TWO talent shows with the band with whom I'm working. I don't want to. I don't think we have chemistry, and I'm not really a fan of the music we're doing. It's kind of pop-punk stuff. The sad part is, PJ is an amazing guitarist, and he's got loads of talent, but he's better at writing acoustic stuff. I don't know how to tell him this without offending him. AHHHHHHH! WHAT DO I DO???

I know what I'm going to do...I'm going to go finish (AKA start) the homework that was due today and then get to bed. I'm EXHAUSTED because of staying up all last night watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Heh heh heh. Good stuff.

Sickness and blah.

2003-10-07T02:33:41Z

Hung out with Kelly today! Yay! Haven't seen her in forever, because...I don't know why, just haven't. Anyway, went and saw her apartment (or the one she's probably going to get). It's tiny and grungy, but she'll probably go with it anyway.

Brayden called (at Kelly's. Hmmmm.) Said he's "too uncomfortable with the age difference". Alrighty. Surprisingly, I don't really care. Not that I don't care, but I don't feel horribly upset or anything. And he freaked because he said "a friend" gave him my journal ID (bullshit, he saw the client on my computer and looked it up, I'm betting. Oh well.) and he saw an entry from a few days ago when I accidentally put that I was in love with "he" instead of Julie being in love with him. Oops...change that...think I was a little cracked out that day. I don't think I can fall in love anymore. The sleazebag scarred me for life. Anyway, the only possible person I could ever feel that way about lives three hours away and has reverted to being a raging alcoholic once again. Bastard. I miss him though.

On the "normal life" front...wait, there are no normal lives here. Honestly, I think I may resort to violence, on myself or others, to deal sometime. Just re-read what I've written and most of it doesn't even make sense. And when I am not being obsessive about my grammar, we know something's wrong. I just feel like shit. And I don't know why. There's absolutely no reason for me to be depressed, and yet I can't seem to get out from the hold of the kind of cloud that's surrounding me. I don't want to feel this way anymore, but I don't know what to do. And I don't seem to give a fuck about anything anymore, except my bloody appearance, of course. Can't manage to be satisfied with that, now, can I. Have gained weight, I think. May have to have another three or four day fast sometime before I go to see Peracles. I can't handle being out with Julie and Jocelyn, both rediculously thin and pretty. *jealousy* I don't know why the fuck I am so preoccupied with this shit, it's meaningless. But every time I look in the mirror, I am unhappy, I hate myself, and I just want to be thin, just for one day, just....AHHHHHHH!

Oh, and one last note, if there are any people reading this who know me, don't be afraid to say hi. I don't give a shit anymore, so this journal is once again public. Not that anyone cares. So Sal and Meghan! You can read this now! I miss you ladies, call me. Now.

I can't be the only one with this problem, can I?

2003-10-01T19:52:44Z

What is the point? Honestly? It was made clear to me today that the only way that I will ever "succeed" in life is by attending all my classes and being a good little girl. This isn't true, is it? Honestly, I don't know. What can I do if I don't get my high school diploma? Get famous...yeah right. That'll happen. I'm too fat to be an actress, even though that's what would truly make me happy. And I really do want to go to university. To study philosophy and/or drama. The thing I don't want to do is subject myself to the arrogant opressiveness of the high school system. I was told, in no uncertain terms, that I am not old enough or responsable enough to be making independent decisions about my own life. And now my math teacher, whom I actually quite like, is mad at me for skipping his class.

So what do I do now? It's not like I'm all of a sudden going to start attending every class or something. That's a waste of my bloody time. I can't be the only one with this problem, can I? What do other people do? I mean, clearly most people are not compatible with contemporary methods of public education, so what does everyone else do? Just attend school like innocent, compliant little sheep? I won't though. I can't. I can't bring myself to. Home school? Self school? I know I'm dedicated enough to get myself through it, but would I enjoy it? I think I would. Is that even an option for me? And what about drama and politics and history...the classes I DO enjoy attending? Do I have to ditch those? Holy shit, I feel truly horrible.

I don't know what to do. I am so lost! I feel like a failure for not being able to put up with what everyone else can withstand, and at the same time I wonder why more people don't blow their fucking brains out. Maybe it's trivial now, maybe I shouldn't be worrying. After all, it'll all be over in two years. But is this how the rest of my life is going to be? Is it all going to be dictated by what other people think is right for me? Society's requirements? Is what I'm feeling even normal? If I tell any adults or whatever, they'll just say it's a case of rebellious teenage unrest and I'll get over in in a few years. Yah. Thanks for the help. I don't even know where to start with this! Ahhhhhhhh I just don't know what to think. Maybe I'll just stay home for a week or two and think things out. I'll go out and cath mono or break my legs or something. Fuck, I hate my life.

Cleaning up...

2003-09-28T20:30:44Z

I've been going through old journal entries and editing the ones with SI/ED references. Not that anyone reads these anyway, but I don't want to have to go back and look at them. Doesn't make me too happy (can't imagine why not...).

I hate weekends like this. I sit around in my pyjamas for two days, eating too much and watching movies. Now I feel amazingly fat and my hair is a mess. Haven't been on the computer since friday night, and, since then, have watched Clockwork Orange, Metropolis, Harry Potter (yes, Harry Potter), and the entire BBC Gormenghast (which is absolutely amazing). Didn't get out of bed except when Brayden came over for a few hours last night, and we spent most of that time in bed anyway. Started updating my ED diary (an actual book - no more of this computer nerd bullshit) again. Holy Mother Earth the pictures in that thing made me throw up, which I guess is a good thing, considering.

Oh, and I saw HIM again. Talked to HIM on the phone for a while last night. I don't know what to think anymore, except that I think Julie is actually in love with him. Honestly. I am so confused, why can't my life be normal?

Speaking of normal lives, Julie is no longer in love with HE (the other one). Mad and crazy events of the weekend. I don't even want to repeat it all.

Want to shoot myself in the head. Have to babysit in an hour. Will probably end up killing the child, I'm in such a bad mood.

I appear to have been abandoned...

2003-09-26T21:58:28Z

No one has commented in here in a while...I'm so alone *sniff*. Kidddiinnnnng, I'm not quite that pathetic! Haha:) Also I have only myself to blame, because it's not like I've been commenting a whole lot to other people either...ah well.

Absolutely nothing new is happening here. Julie is madly in love with HE (our code name for her current obsession...we always manage to come up with whacked out code names, like X4 and Jimmeh...wow I'm tired), HE is madly in love with someone else. It really does make me sad to see her so upset sometimes. I wish I could say the right thing to make her happy again, but I don't know what that would be.

I've kind of been replaced by Jess, anyway. Now, Jess is an awesome person, but I kind of feel like I have to "share" Julie with her now. When I put that into writing I realize it sounds really selfish, but that's not how I mean it. I don't know how I mean it. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore! AHHHH!

Brayden is recovering from an insane sickness of death, which I apparently gave him. He now calls me his "little outbreak monkey". Thanks, babe, makes me sound like an STD farm or something (which is more like him, or ScotTD but anyway...moving on...).

********TODAY'S RANT********
People are SO NOSY! HONESTLY! I don't understand what is so fascinating about someone's life that you have to bug the fuck out of them to know. Seriously, is every detail of my life really that hot of a story? Are people really so pathetic that they need to know everything I do? Do they not have lives of their own? Personally, I have enough problems in my own life without intentionally wrapping myself up in other peoples'. I'm sure these people have secrets that the rest of the world doesn't know, so why shouldn't I be able to have my own secret? Why are some things such a big deal anyway? It's not like one little thing makes me a horrible person or something. Everyone does bad things/has done bad things/will do bad things at some point in their life, so what's the point in getting on my case about it? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
********END OF RANT********

To add to my happiness, EVERYONE is either working tonight or out (or in) with their signigicant others, so I am stuck at home watching Clockwork Orange and Mephisto (not that they're bad movies, but IT'S FRIDAY FUCKEN NIGHT!). Woot woot. The end.

Wow, I'm bored as Fook. Fook, I say!

2003-09-24T19:03:10Z

Looking at the "popular interests" page, and discovered that the most popular bands here at Deadjournal are (in order):

Nirvana
Incubus
Weezer (which, incidentally, ranks just below "cheese")
Tool
AFI
System of a Down
Linkin Park
Dashboard
Korn
Saves the Day
Marilyn Mandon
Green Day
Radiohead
Thursday
NIN
Good Charlotte

...and the list goes on. All I have to say is, if these are the favorite bands of the average DJ person, the world is coming to an end.

"Goth" falls directly between "pink" and "cars". Also, 7964 people have "blood" listed as an interest, and 10799 have "black". Wow, we're living in a world of "vampires" and Mansonites. *meow* I give up.

"Goth Hunting"

2003-09-24T18:37:45Z

This page is funny. Look at it. Laugh. Enjoy it. Now.

http://internettrash.com/users/salatrel/hunting.htm

I've decided I no longer give a shit.

2003-09-24T18:35:07Z

About anything. I used to be the kind of person who tried to cover up the fact that she skips school and smokes and fucks guys who are 10 years older than her. Now I don't care anymore. I mean, if that's the worst I do, then I'm doing pretty well, it's not like those things are really that horrible.

I guess it's just that I used to be ashamed of who I am. I used to want to be the person other people thought I should be, trying to please other people. Telling Julie that "I'm quitting, just one more pack", or telling Brayden that he's the oldest guy I've ever been with, or telling Paula they screwed up the attendance list...I really was in class!

But I'm not a bad person, I make up my own mind about things...I don't drink or do drugs, even if my friends do. I don't sleep around, I just like older guys (and despite what you may think, it is possible to have a meaningful relationship with someone a lot older than you are, it doesn't have to be just about sex).

So basically I've decided that I'm not going to lie anymore. I'm not going to work my life around pleasing other people. I am going to try to be happy with the way I am. I am going to stop fasting for days in a row. I'm going to stop babysitting and get a decent job that doesn't involve any fucking children. I'm quitting that club volleyball team that I joined for someone else's sake.

AAAaaand, I'm going to leave now because I have to get Kelly a birthday present:) Laaater, my fiends.

I was babysitting earlier tonight...

2003-09-20T01:27:35Z

...and it inspired me. Inspired me as I have (almost) never been inspired before. Inspired me to come home and find...THIS!!!

Well, ordinarily I would post the picture here, but I can't because I'm challenged. So I'll just say go to www.voltaire.net, look at the side under the "Oh My Goth!" heading, go to the art, and check out the "Terrortubbies" picture. If you've actually gone and done it, you will know that it is quite amusing.

So yah, Teletubbies really are the most frightening creatures ever intentionally inflicted on small children. They scare the shit out of me. The 2 year old seems to like them, but I will have nightmares for weeks after watching Tinky Winky, Lala, etc. run around wearing tutus and eating Tubby Toast. Death.

So that's about all I have to say, because my Brayden is here to pick me up. Yay:)

Oh and check out the rest of Voltaire.net, it's pretty cool shiznit. Yo.

Apparently...

2003-09-11T21:05:53Z

...In "memory" of the victims of the 9-11 incident (I'd make that more politically incorrect, but I'm too tired right now. Ah well, nothing some baby-killing and a good impeachment wouldn't fix), Bush has "broadening law enforcement's search-and-seizure powers, and expanding the application of the death penalty". Oh good. Brilliant move, my illiterate friend, don't worry about your people, I'm sure they're all eternally grateful to you for using your theived power in such a useful, constructive way.

Speaking of the Noo-cue-lar One, did anyone else see his address the other night? I was at PJ's house and we accidentally ended up watching it. Horrible little thing, it was. Apparently, brevity is no longer *en vogue*. Alas.

Well, I'm playing tomorrow night. The supreme sacrifice. Actually it's not, I'm going to enjoy it, whether we suck or not. We practiced last night, and it wasn't too bad. Tonight again, Shawnahan's house, then tomorrow it's going to be all over. I don't know if PJ realizes that it's not going to be a permanent thing with me, but whatever, keep him happy.

Anyway, I'm out. Babysitting in 15 minutes, so I've got to get going. The end.

Hello again...

2003-09-09T19:35:50Z

I haven't been updating. Death to me. Really, since school has started, I haven't had a whole lot of time to be on here. Speaking of school, it quite literally makes me want to shoot myself.

On the plus side, I'm playing a show this friday with my friend's band...their bassist abandoned them. Actually, I don't know whether this is really on the plus side or not, because I had to learn 11 songs on Sunday and we're going to be able to practice together only twice before the show, meaning we're going to suck madly. Ah well, any chance to play, really.

I also need a job, right now. Brett is planning on moving to Vancouver (I don't know why Vancouver in particular, but whatever), and he asked me to go with him. I want to. I realize how much I'd be leaving behind, and how I'd have to work almost full time AND go to school (I plan on graduating), but I want to anyway. Unfortunately, I have next to no money saved, so I have to work. I want to at least finish my grade 11 year here, and I plan on going to UBC (one of my choices) after graduating anyway. What I would do would be - make enough to pay plane fare and rent, then work through grade 12, graduate, work for a year or two, then go to UBC to study philosophy and/or history and/or English. Got it all planned out.

So I'm in the middle of writing up a new resume. Thrilling stuff...I'm so bad at this shit.

I told Brayden last night that Brett asked me to go with him, and all he said was "are you sure you could live with Brett without wanting to kill him?" At least he didn't freak out.

I'm baaaaack...

2003-08-31T23:04:58Z

AAAAnnndd...I have returned. After three glorious weeks abroad (cottage) I have come back to this shit hole, welcomed home by my neighbor's psycho dog and my timetable in the mail, reminding me of my impending doom (AKA school).

So anyway, hello to everyone, I'll be checking journals/commenting later on tonight. I'm off to a Matadors show! Yay! I have yet to see them live, and I'm looking foreward to it. Word on the streets is that they're really really rediculously good live.

This is too beautiful...

2003-08-11T19:44:56Z

http://www.veganerotica.com

Come on, people, you know it's wonderful!

I'm bleaching my hair so I can dye it bright red, and it stings. DEATH!

Andddd...news of the day...I have become a huge Nerve Agents fan! Brett and Dave somehow got into them, and hours of listening to The Butterfly Collection in the car with them has made me like them. If you don't know them, check them out, they're quite kick ass.

Another good *new* band is S.T.U.N. I saw them for the first time at Warped Tour, and they're AMAZING live. The singer goes insane onstage. The drummer looks remarkably like Sid Vicious, the bassist has cool hair, and the guitarist is the sexiest man alive. Check them out...www.stunmusic.com...

Aaannnddd...other news, there is none. I have new icons! I made them this morning (when I say "made" I mean I found little pictures and made them the right size). There's a Felix the Cat one, a Riff Raff (Rocky Horro Picture Show) one, and a new Misfits one (I didn't like my old Misfits one). A very very kind soul also made me a Davey Havok one, and I still have my Peter Murphy one (and always will, he's a sexy beast). The end.

Does Anyone Have...

2003-08-11T15:00:24Z

...A spare LiveJournal code hanging around? If you do, I would gladly trade it for a cookie or a dead baby or something fun like that.

Heh heh. Procrastination is life...

2003-08-11T14:40:12Z

Thanks to bluekitty for the quizzes. I am also a quiz dork, hun!

Your heart is of ebony. Full of hate and malice
towards all the world, you're probably a mass
murderer.

How Black Is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

Good job, Shakespeare. I am truly proud of you.
Feel free to make quizzes; yours, at least,
won't make people dumber just by looking at
them.

Can you freaking SPELL?
brought to you by Quizilla

Heyyyyyy...does anyone have an extra LiveJournal code hanging around? A lot of my friends have LJs, but none of them have any codes left. If anyone has one and they are sweet enough to give it to me, I will send you a cookie by mail!

Leaving tomorrow...don't want to...

2003-08-11T14:15:13Z

Off to camp tomorrow. For two weeks. Normally I'd be going for three weeks, but because of being in Greece I got to go for only two this year. (Not that I'm complaining...) I don't really want to go. I just want to go to the cottage and stay here. Ah well, I'll have fun when I get there, I guess.

So I won't be back until the 31st (going to the cottage afterwards). Meh. There's a Matadors show at Call the Office that night, apparently, though, so I'll have something to look foreward to. I have yet to see them, dammit, and Dave keeps telling me these magical stories of gargoyle-esque bassists and fake blood...woot woot.

Spent yesterday learning half the Suits songs on guitar. I have determined that I don't like playing guitar. I love my bass *hugs baby kinky*. (Yes, my bass is named Kinky. Don't ask.) Brett taught me some of them, but I ended up just playing around with his bass instead because I got bored.

Had to babysit last night. Help me, mother. Five hours of playing "school" and listening to Avril Lavine, followed by a failed attempt at candy making (she told me the fucking pot could go in the microwave!), and an hour of trying to get her to go to bed without screaming at her. Fuck I need a real job, I can't go on like this. I'm not a kid person. I really wish I was, but I'm not.

Anywho, shutting up now, have to go clean my room. Death.

Bored, oh so Bored...

2003-08-09T16:50:37Z

I have always wondered why there are so many people today who are chronically bored. The fact that there is even a condition (treatable, apparently) called "Chronic Boredom" makes me wonder what the hell is the point. It can't be healthy to have so many people with so little to do.

Maybe it's because we have all these nice shiny machines to do everything for us? Instead of having to walk 5k to the nearest well to get water and dragging mammoths home for dinner, we have water pumped and grocery stores stocked with imported goodies. Not that I'd like to be hiking for water and spearing mammoths, but I don't know how comfortable I am with the concept of skipping so far ahead in evolution by creating machines.

Well maybe we'll all blow up soon anyway, so it won't matter. *Thinks happy thoughts*

Julie and I stayed up veeery late the other night talking about...various things (we made an "awesome person" list. Great times), but we somehow got on the topic of Jehova's Witnesses/other evangelical fucks, and she came up with a good question: if they're being evangelical is result of competition to get into heaven, why are they trying to create more Jehova's Witnesses, thereby creating more competition? Yah we were tired. I think we had had a few too many Tom-hugs or something.

Anyway, I will stop thinking now, because my itty bitty bwain wiw expwoooooooode!! My feet hurt.

All Note....

2003-08-07T22:07:11Z

Change of email address, people! My other one was getting overrun with spam, so I just ditched it. The new one is angelfcukmisfit@hotmail.com, and I adore getting mail from random people. Or not. (alida_keenleyside@hotmail.com is still my MSN address for now though, as I am too lazy to change it. For now.)

Don't Read This.

2003-08-07T00:19:13Z

Seriously, don't. You will be so fucking bored out of your skull that you will want to shoot me in the face. I am doing this because I am boooored. I found it on someone else's DJ and decided to fill it out purely for my own amusement.

-First Name: Alida
-Age: 15
-Birthday: September 22
-Height: 5'7"
-Hair Color: reddish-purpleish-blueish-brownish-blackish stuff type thing. And fried.
-Eye Color: Changes with the weather. How much of a mutant freak am I??
-Glasses: Nope
-Contacts: Nops
-Braces: Nope
-Hair Short Or Long: In the middle. Being grown out. Woot woot.
-Where Born: London mothafucken Ontario, mothafuckas. heh heh.
-Where You Now Live: St. Thomas, AKA Hell.
-Astrology Sign: Virgo/Libra. I'm a virgin and a set of scales. How fucken retarded is that? Some of my friends get to be scorpions or lions, but me, I'm a fucken virgin and a set of scales!
-Chinese Zodiac Sign: Rabbit. Heh heh. Hey at least I'm not a horse like my brother...
-Piercings: lippy-doodle. Holy shit I can't believe I just wrote that. I am so fucken cracked out...

:::Family:::
*Mothers Name: Paula
*Fathers Name: Joel
*Brothers Name[s]: Gabriel
*Sisters Name[s]: My best friend Julie is unofficially adopted...does she count?
*Favorite Grandparent: Nanny and Grampa on Joel's side.
*Worst Relative: Good fucken lord...everyone on Paula's side!
*Best Relative: Uncle Eric.
*Best Family Memory: What the hell? That is officially the dumbest question I've ever been asked since going in for an x-ray at 8 years old and being asked if I was pregnant. (I said yes. Havoc was wreaked.)
*Do U Get Along With Your Parents: Joel, yes. Paula, when I need money.
*Do Your Parents Understand You: Do anyone's? They make fun of me for being gothic, for fuck's sake.
*Does Anyone In Your Family Understand You: Uncle Eric, hence why he's the best.

*...School...*
+Are You Still In School: Mais oui, mon ch?re.
+Current/Supposive Grade: Going into grade 11.
+Grade: What? You mean average or something? 90.5%. Woot woot.
+Worst Grade: 7th/8th.
+Favorite Teacher: Paris and Quigley and King.
+Worst Teacher: Ooohhhh fucker don't start me. Muscat and Girard can't outshout me, mofos!! Muahahahaha... Oh fuck Loucks was horrible too.
+Favorite Subject: English, Philosophy, Sociology, Drama.
+Worst Subject: I'm pretty good at them all, but I HATED Civics. That was a fucken waste of time. A whole day wasted on the definition of communism! My fellow students are morons.
+Do/Did U Buy Lunch Or Bring Lunch: Don't eat lunch.
+School Sports: Basketball (not playing this year I don't think), volleyball (captain...woot woot. Fun season), swimming (I started the team! And coached it. Go me.)
+School Activities: Makeup for the play (Romeo and Juliet. Wheeee)
+Popular Or What: Friendly with almost everyone. Don't really have any "enemies". Somewhat introverted at school though.
+Favorite Memory: *meow*
+Worst Memory: *hiss*

.%.Favorite.%.
>Number: 13/11
>Clothing Brand: DEATH TO BRAND NAMES!
>Shoes: anything comfy/cheap/intimidating (yay for stiletto platforms and combat boots.)
>Shows: any decent concerts. I love music. I live for music. I want my band back. *cries*
>Vegetable: Celery...negative calories!
>Fruit: Apples/Grapes.
>Movie: Waaayyy too many to list...lets just say anything by Kubrick or the Coen Brothers, as well as Rocky Horror Picture Show, Sid and Nancy, ROZENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD (fucken amazing film. See it.), Nosferatu (Kinski and Shreck), Dracula, Cabinet of Dr. Callegari, etc.
>Candy: Don't like candy.
>Gum: Dentyne Ice Intense Sugarfree.
>Ice Cream Flavor: Death to dairy...I like lemon sorbet though.
>Color: Black, purple, blue, red.
>Season: fall/spring.
>Holiday: Hallowe'en.
>Band: The Misfits, Bauhaus, AFI, Dead Kennedys, Covenant, The Sisters of Mercy, London After Midnight, Switchblade Symphony, Ramones, etc.
>Singer: Danzig fucken rocked. Misfits barely compete with The Misfits, man. Eldrich, Cobain, and Siouxsie Sioux rock too.
>Song: Man I can't choose Just one song! I'll do one from each band listed: (In order) London Dungeon, The Passions of Lovers/Kick in the Eye, God Called in Sick Today, Soup is God Food, Dead Stars, Black Planet, Kiss, Invisible, The KKK Took My Baby Away.
>Thing In Your Room: Bed, Bookshelf (stuffed), 2 amps, my bass (Kinky), acoustic guitar, excessive posters/paintings/photographs, lots of dead flowers, clothes and books everywhere...
>Place To Be: On my own or with my friends. (Wow that narrows it down...)
>Radio Station: DEATH TO COMMERCIAL RADIO!
>TV Channel: I don't really watch TV. I like the Simpsons tho...
>State: Louisiana...pretty cemeteries and nice rednecks!
>Shampoo: I don't care really...whatever's cheap...
>Music Video: Anything by Tool. Heh heh.
>Swear Word: Fuck/Fucker.
>Month: September (minus the whole school factor).
>Cartoon: Sandman and Lenore. And The Simpsons, of course!
>Scary Movie: I don't know...I don't know what counts as scary, because I don't get that freaked by movies.

///What's the first thing you think of when you hear "..."\\\
~Eminem: Marilyn Manson, only ugly.
~Britney Spears: Kill...kill...rape and maim...
~Nsync: who?
~Real World: People can't handle it.
~Orange: Clockwork
~Bisexual: STOP HITTING ON ME (insert female friend's name here).
~Black: White
~Insane Clown: Posse
~Linkin Park: Who?
~Jack: White. Sex. Machine.
~Rainbows: My PACE flag in my window WHICH IS NOT A FUCKING PRIDE FLAG!
~Cherry: condoms. yummy...
~America: Scares me.
~Water: Rain...or Flow...whichever
~Volcano: explOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE!!!!!:)

.:.This Or That.:.
?.Rock or rap: Rock
?.Pop or rap: Define "pop". Do you mean top 40 shit, or Bauhaus-type 80s pop?
?.Rap or r&b: R&B, but only decent 50s stuff, none of this new shit they try to pass of as real.
?.Rock or metal: Rock
?.Linkin Park or Limp Bizkit: Who?
?.Tool or Korn: Tool
:?.Hot or Cold: Cold
?.Winter or Summer: Winter weather, Summer freedom.
?.Spring or Fall: Fall.
?.Shakira or Britney: *giggles and runs to find matches*
?.ICP or Eminem: ICP?
?.Kittie or Garbage: Either.
?.MTV or VH1: deeeeeeeeeeeeeataaaaaaaaaaaatttttttthhhhh...
?.Buffy or Angel: Cheese?
?.Dawsons Creek Or Gilmore Girls: Have never watched either.
?.Football or Basketball: Basketball.
?.Summer Olympics or Winter Olympics: Summer (volleyball and swimming - perfect-form fly is a work of fucken art, man!)
?.Skiing or Snowboarding: Hahahaha skiing I fall on my ass when I try to snowboard.
?.Rollerblading or Skateboarding: Neither really.
?.Black or White: Black.
?.Orange or Red: Red.
?.Yellow or Green: Green
?.Purple or Pink: Purple (Dark only tho - no fucken pastels.)
?.Slipknot or Mudvayne: WAFFLES!!!!!
?.Hot Topic or Pac Sun: *looks confused and pokes dead moose*
?.Weed or Alcohol: Tobacco...pick your poison.

[.Relationships.]

//Boyfriend Or Girlfriend: alas, no. Boyfriends are NOT worth my time. Dickheads *coughJUSTINcough* Ya fucker.
//Crush: I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
//Do You Love Anyone Right Now: My penguin.
//Have You Ever Been In Love: No.
//How Many People Have You Kissed: Eh...I dunno, who keeps track of that shit?
//Who Was Your First Kiss: I don't remember it.
//How Many Hearts Have You Broken: I wouldn't know...but apparently I'm a homewrecker/heartbreaker/everynameinthebook. Yah that's right Chris, you mean NOTHING to me, you asshole.
//How Many People Broke Your Heart: None. I don't let anyone get that close.
//Best Quote To Sum Up Love: It's all bullshit to get laid.
//Do U Go More By Looks Or Personality: Personality, but looks are important.
//Ever Kiss A Friend: Mais oui.
//Are You Still Friends: Mais oui.

.:oO0 Would You Ever 0Oo:.
Oo.Swim With Dolphins: *sings* THE DOLPHIN BOY...Woot woot. (In other words, yes I would.)
Oo.Scuba Dive: Ooooh can I?
Oo.Go Rock Climbing: J'adore le climbing of le rock.
Oo.Turn Your Back On Your Friends For Personal Gain: I'd like to think that I wouldn't. I can't imagine doing that.
Oo.Steal A Friends Boyfriend/Girlfriend: I'M ETERNALLY SORRY!! I'll never do it again.
Oo.Cross-Dress: It's not a huge deal for girls to dress like guys. I wear guys stuff a lot...like yesterday I was wearing the same shirt as Bolty...heh heh.
Oo.Lie To Your Parents: No, never! *looks shocked* Mommy wouldn't like that! ...Hahaha yah definetly. Do it all the time. My conscience goes off into oblivion when it comes to Paula especially.
Oo.Walk Up To A Total Stranger And Kiss Them: If I could be sure I'd never see him again...*grin*

x..x..Your Friends..x..x
x:Best Friend: Julie:)
x:Known Longest: Julie
x:Wish You Talked To More Than You Do: Beth/Brett
x:How Many Friends Do U Think You Have: Enough.
x:How Many Do U Actually Hang Out With: Oh loads...I hang out with people in large groups generally, and I have at least 3 "groups" I hang out with...I'm pretty open to everyone, and I don't like to limit myself to only 4 or 5 "friends".
x:Who Drives You Insane After Awhile: Jow.
x:Craziest: I'd have to say either Julie or Brett...Julie for her Scotland fetish and Brett because he injures himself on a regular basis, I don't know how.
x:Loudest: Not Dave, that's fo sho. Probably Marley, although I'm not really good friends with her. Julie's quite loud too.
x:Shyest: Cody...ahh my emo friend Cody:)
x:Best Hair: Eh? Dave's kicked some serious ass when it was checkered...I actually like mine alot because it is always changing colours.
x:Can Always Make You Laugh: All of them. That's why they're my friends!
x:Best Eyes: Hmmm...I don't notice eyes in my friends really, only in boyfriends. Caiti Curtis had schweet contacts tho...
x:Most Athletic: Joolee.
X:Shortest: DANIELLE MY MIDGET FRIEND! Je t'adore.
X:Tallest: Hahahaha Dave. Je t'adore aussi, you freakishly tall man.
x:Best Singing Voice: Jocelyn, my opera singer!
x:Skinniest: Kelly or Trish.

/\/\/*Have You Ever*\/\/\.
\_Told the person you liked how u felt: Not until they made the first move. I'm a loser:)
\_Gotten really REALLY wasted: Sadly, yes.
\_Stolen anything from a store: Who hasn't?
\_Kissed someone of the same sex: Friendly kisses, all the time. And Jenn licks me too much. *lick* (not in a perverted sexual way, get your minds out of the gutter!)
\_Flipped someone off: LOOK! DEAD BABIES!
\_Been to a concert: Constantly. I live for music. LIVE FOR IT, I TELL YOU!
\_Been to another country: Several. J'aime Europe in general.
\_Talked back to an adult: I have a severe problem with authority (of which, although it sounds tough or cool or whatever, I am not very proud.)
\_Got into a car accident: Yes. Bastard.
\_Given money to some homeless person: I share smokes and buy food for homeless people all the time! I love sitting and talking to them randomly. There are a lot of really interesting people...there are a lot of dimwits too, but some of them are real gems.
\_Tried to kill yourself: Yes. Don't want to talk about it. Can only say, don't do it. DON'T!
\_Cried to get out of trouble: Holy fuck man I fakes a whole nervous breakdown and stayed in bed for a week once! It was fucken awesome:)
\_Kissed a friends brother/sister: Heh heh heh...

.*.*.The Last Thing.*.*.
.*.You Ate: What? Yay veganism.
.*.You Drank: Water.
.*.The Last Place You Went: Greece.
.*.Last Thing You Bought: Gum and cigarettes.
.*.Last Person You Saw: Paula
.*.Last Person You Talked To: Grampa
.*.Last Song You Heard: London After Midnight - Nightmare.

(((Yes Or No)))
(.)Do You Like Cows: No.Well, I love all Earth's creatures and all that shit, but cows are fucken ugly and smelly.
(.)Do The Voices Talk To You And You Only: *One by one the penguins steal my sanity*
(.)Are You Short: Not really.
(.)Do You Own A Hot Pink Shirt: Death. *shudders and collapses on floor*
(.)How About Orange Pants: Nope.
(.)Are You A Teenage Zombie: If you're asking do I like Murderdolls, the answer would be meh.
(.)Do you Like Marilyn Manson: Decent music. Wish he'd stop calling himself a goth though, do you know how many of my goth friends rant for years about how he's just a fucken poseur?
(.)Did you ever touch someone elses No-No Spot: Dude, I don't even want to know what you are meaning by a no-no spot. I don't want to know why it's capitalized either.
(.)Do You Shop At Hot Topic: Occasionally for posters or pins or something. Nothing pisses me off more than punks who rant 24/7 bout Hot Topic. GET OVER YOURSELVES YOU GODDAMM ELITIST BASTARDS! I'M JUST AS ANTI-NAME BRAND/-COMMERCIALIST AS YOU ARE SO FUCK OFF.
(.)Do You Remember Any Of Your Dreams: Nope
(.)Can People Read You Like A Book: They think they can. Fucken annoying.
(.)What's Your Biggest Fear: Being raped/clowns. (Or being raped by clowns, that's the ultimate terror.)
(.)Do You Talk A lot: Depends on mood/person I'm talking to/etc.
(.)Are You Afraid Of Clowns: Good fucking Mother Earth.
(.)Can You Drive: No and No.
(.)Are You A Spoiled Rotten Only Child: Nope.
(.)Are You Anti-Social: I can be. Sometimes.
(.)Now What Are You Going To Go Do: Go watch Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Who was the last person~...
{x} You touched? Thanks for not being vague...
{x} You talked to? How many more times is this question going to be asked? Huh? Huh? That's what I thought...
{x} You hugged? Kelly
{x} You instant messaged? Jeff Keleher, the drunken monkey.
{x} You kissed? JENNY! She licked me first.
{x} You yelled at? Paula

|| FUTURE ||
[Do you want to get married:] No. Marriage is nothing but a religious institution that means absolutely nothing and serves no purpose other than to cling to outdated, sexist tradition. Fuckers.
[If so,what age would you like to be married: *sings* Veggie Tales!
[Who will you marry:] *happydance*
[What do you want to do when you grow up:] Something to do with sociology I'm thinking. Wanting to study philosophy, sociology, anthropology, and perhaps English.
[Where will you live:] The Moon
[Do you want to have kids:] I'm going to adopt various underprivaledged children from third world countries and support them. Woot woot. No, seriously, I am.
[If so, how many:] As many as I can afford to support.

|| THIS OR THAT ||
[Coke/Pepsi:] Death to pop and major corporations.
[Pen/Pencil:] What the hell kind of question is that?
[Vanilla/Chocolate:] Neither. Sugar+dairy=death.
[Hug/Kiss:] Kiss.
[Lights On/Off:] Off, mofo.
[Dark/Light:] Dark, mofo.
[Rose/Lily:] Rose, mofo. (Preferably dried.)
[Dr Pepper/Mt.Dew:] See above (X7)
[McDonalds/Burger King:] See above. Animal killing, child poisoning bastards.
[Sandals/Shoes:] boots.
[N*Sync/BSB:] Who?
[Britney/Christina:] Who?
[Justin Timberlake/Nick Carter:] Who?
[CD/Tape:] CD/Vynil.
[Phone/Computer:] Compooter.
[Skittles/M'n'M's:] Good Mother Earth stop asking these dumbass questions, like I'd poison myself with that shit while supporting multi-million dollar companies who like to do stuff like over package their food and pump poisonous chemicals into the Earth's atmosphere.
[Rich and unhappy/Poor and happy:] Poor and Happy. Duh.
[Tootsie pops/Blow pops:] What the fuck is the difference? I don't eat that shit.
[1 pillow/or 2:] 5, actually. I'm a freak.

|| Questions || -Have you ever...
[Cheated on a test:] *looks all angelic* No, your honour!
[Cut your own hair:] WOO HOO! All the time, man.
[Dyed your own hair:] Like I'd pay some salon bitch to screw it up.
[Stayed home on a Saturday:] Yep.
[Toilet papered someones house/car:] I set fire to a guy's house once. That was fun.
[Been drunk:] Sadly, yes.
[Broken a bone:] Yes, tripping over a small child on a basketball court. I was ready to kill that stupid little bastard.
[Fell asleep in class:] That's where I get my sleep, man!

There. The end. I'm done. And still bored. If you are reading this still you really need a life, as do I. If you've gotten this far, you might as well fill it out yourself too...dooooooo ittttttttt.....

I'm confused and scared...

2003-08-06T20:23:22Z

I had another "episode" today. I don't know what happened...I just kind of woke up on the floor...there was vomit in the toilet and blood on the floor...thank fuck Paula wasn't home.

Anyway, I was at Jason Bolt's house last night. Fun times. Jeff Keleher got so drunk that he threw up all over the place a lot of times. Idiot.

I slept there and Tony drove me home this afternoon. I have spent the day on the internet, doing housework, and avoiding phone calls. I kind of just want to be alone. I haven't really had "alone time" since I got back, so it's really nice to be able to just do whatever I want. I'm probably not going out tonight, I'll just stay home and watch Rocky Horror Picture Show, which Julie got me as a coming home present:) J'adore that movie! *I'm just a sweet transvestite...from Transexual...Transylvania!* Great stuff. Quality. watched Requiem for a Dream last night...that was really good too. And Bolty's TV colour was off, so everything was trippy and wierd...the water was green and the grass was yellow and the sky was green too...it kinda enhanced life in general. I have to say that Sarah was the character that made me the most depressed. I cried. A lot. It was truly amazing.

But I have to go, as I just overcooked the lentils. Shit. J'adore lentils aussi, mais j'ai aucun avis a manger. I drink du the and eat du gomme mais c'est tout. I'll stop talking in French now. I'm a nerd:)

Fucken Eh....

2003-08-04T08:41:33Z

Hey, you're Jello Biafra, former lead singer for
punk rock band the Dead Kennedys, as well as a
spoken word artist and lead singer for LARD.
With a penchant for politics and having faced
the wrath of the U.S. government, you tend to
be a little paranoid of Big Brother.

What insane singer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

And I didn't even cheat! But I did it again and I got Ozzy the second time, both sets of answers were true tho.

Warped Fucken Rocked!!!!!!

2003-08-04T08:11:17Z

Aw man it was awesome! Best experience of life. Well...not quite, but right up there.

Mad Caddies were a lot better than I expected...they put on a pretty decent live show. Suicide Machines kicked ass because a-they rock, and b-they got the crowd to pull a "braveheart" and divided us in half and got us to run straight at each other. That didn't work very well though, so they got the whole Suicide Machines crowd to run at the Ataris crowd and a lot more people died. It was fun...I got my head stomped on:) There was this new band (new=I haven't heard of them before) called S.T.U.N. and they were pretty cool. I got to see only a bit of their show, but I seem to remember the guitarist being pretty sexy.

The best bands were definetly the Dropkick Murphys and Rancid. The DKM pit was the greatest ever, as it was a lead of huge drunken Irishmen stomping the midgets. I managed to survive and it was so much fun! Then I had to suffer through Pennywise *shudder* in order to get a decent spot for Rancid. It was completely worth it though, becuase I ended up sqeezing my way right up to the rail! I spent two hours with steel digging into my ribs chatting with some of the drunken Irishmen who shared their smokes with me (mine got soaked...it rained all afternoon). MATT FREEMAN IS A FUCKING GOD! His Maxwell Murder solo went on for years and years, it was the greatest thing I've ever heard.

So anyway, if there was anyone who was at the Barrie show, leave me a comment and we can swap stories.

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaccccccccckk...

2003-08-01T17:48:17Z

Hi everyone. I have come home from Greece. Yay! All good fun. Warped Tour this weekend and Campfire at Cody's tonight.

Anywho, I was studying philosophy in Greece...very very cool. Quite basic stuff, but it was really nice to be able to discuss it with intelligent, articulate people. Sadly, I odn't have enough time to disscuss it in detail here. Not that it would be horribly interesting for anyone who wasn't there anyway:)

I'm not going to have a lot of time to post here during the summer, but I will when I can. Hope everyone's summer is treating them well.

Oh BTW, for all of you dead baby joke lovers, Dave and I invented a new word...BABYCIDE! I have too much time on my hands.

Hi, Kids.

2003-06-29T02:15:17Z

Well, to quote SNL's Celebrity Jeporady, this situation "has reached a new low". Only this time it isn't funny. Kelly has stopped talking to both Brett and Beth, and vice versa, and I think that Dave is mad at Kelly too, even though he hasn't said anything.

After the show last night, I was supposed to go camping with Brett, Beth, Joe, Cody, Dave, and some other people. But since my parents are nazis, I had to go home, so I went to Brayden's house with Kelly instead. I had a lot of fun anyway though. Kelly was hiding away somewhere with Zach, so I sat at the fire with Brayden and Rob and talked for a long time. They're great guys. I always thought Rob was just quiet, but that's only around large groups. Brayden is the greatest kid alive though! Just inexplicably cool. Hate that I meet new people right when I have to go away for a month. The other new greatest kid alive is Mike, who is going out with Danielle. It's good to see her happy again.

Before the show I went to Jen Capelli's house with Tracy to get together for the first time as a band. It was alright...we didn't get a whole lot of playing done, and it was mostly Tracy playing her songs and Jen and I joining in playing basic boring stuff. I worked with a few basslines with Jen and she liked them. The thing was, although I really liked all Tracy's stuff, none of it was punk, and that's what she told me she wanted. Ah well, we'll get more done when I get home.

Ummm...that's about it...I went on a clothing-making binge today! I made a pair of cutoff cord shorts (below knee type thingys) and I bleached the Bauhaus logo onto the back of a black sweatshirt. Good fun! I also *gulp* bought 3 skirts at Value Village! If you know me, and know that I never wear skirts, you will find this strange. But it's going to be so fucking hot in Greece, and I refuse to wear shorts (body issues). One's plaid and knee-length, one's black lace and halfway down the calf, and the other (which isn't a summer skirt, but it was so cool I had to get it anyway) was black and floor-length and slightly flared...beautiful. So that's it. Now I've started collecting "girly" points every time I wear a skirt. Heh heh.

Yee-haw.

2003-06-27T01:41:14Z

Well, I'm back from the island, and FUCKEN TIRED. Holy shit...you have no idea how hard we're being worked at volleyball. It's good that that's the only sport I'm still interested in, because otherwise I would be dead. Literally. It is so fucking hot in that gym...and our school is too damn cheap to have the shithole air conditioned...

Anywho, had a great weekend at the cottage...I stayed an extra day with Philip and Vicky. It was great. On monday, everyone else left (population went from 16 to 3 in two hours), and we just hung around doing nothing and relaxing for two days. Philip and I stayed up talking for most of the night(s). It was really nice to talk to him for so long...I hadn't seen him since that one swim meet he came to in London, and we didn't have a lot of time to talk then. He's a cool kid.

I got back to the real world and immediately remembered why I hate it. Beth and Brett are now going out. Kelly is extremely upset. Everyone is "tense", as Dave put it. Dave and Cody are still normal (forgot to call Cody back! Shit!), but I don't know about everyone else. At least Brett and Beth are happy. It was pretty obvious that they were going to end up together sooner or later, but the fact that it's now clear that Beth is the reason Brett dumped Kelly...wow this must be confusing as fuck for anyone who doesn't know these kids!
Anywho, the point is, I wish everyone could just get along...I like them all so much I just want somewhere or some group of people where I can feel totally safe and comfortable. I don't have that. I never did. I thought I did, when I first met Kelly, Brett, Beth, Joe, and Cody, but now everything is just falling apart. Mostly because people are too stubborn to talk about our problems and admit that everyone is at fault. AHHHHHHHH!

Moving on, my mother went on an anti-Cure tyrade this morning in the car. It was quite upsetting. I love them, but apparently they're now "evil evil shit". Yep.

Well I have to go. The new Harry Potter is just sitting there begging to be read...and I have to finish Sophie's World by Monday (WHICH IS WHEN I LEAVE FOR GREECE!!!!). I am also reading The Handmaid's Tale and The Iron Heel at the same time. For some odd reason, I like to have 3 or 4 books on the go at once...I have never known why.

The end. I'm off. Caio. Whatever they say.....