Current mood:	jealous
Current music:	siouxsie and the banshees - rhapsody

why bother...
i don't know why i bother posting on here...i guess it makes me feel better to have somewhere to rant. someday, when i get my act together and build a website (proabbly summer sometime) i'll be getting more hits here and comments and such. wheeeee.

anywho, my life is shit right now. i have to go tell penny that i officially quit swimming, which will not be fun. it's mostly because of that small incident with the stress and the breakdown and the psychologist and everyone trying to be helpful...the story of my life. and i have two more essays to write for tomorrow, one of which is in french, and the other of which has to look like an authentic letter from a WW1 soldier. oh, the excitement.

i stayed overnight at dan's on saturday night and he noticed the cuts on my wrists. i told him to shut the fuck up so that no one else would notice, but he got all worried and shit. he wouldn't understand anyway. he would automatically think that it's a suicide thing, which it isn't (most of the time). it's a pain thing. and a blood thing. and a self-punishment thing. he would never understand that...no one ever does. i've never told anyone because they'd all think i'm a suicidal freak and ditch me, which would maybe not be the worst thing in the world.

tracey cheated on doug last weekend. fucking retard. she has a nice boyfriend and the first thing she does is fuck up. if i got a bf i liked that much i wouldn't cheat. i cheated on chris because he was boring and not very good in bed. same with brandon. on second thought, brandon was just a fucking magg. well there's the story of my life...going out of town on weekends and finding scrawney, easily-dominated goth boys to fuck. yay.

well i gotta go talk to penny...later.

~alida