Wednesday, February 26th, 2003

Time	Event
6:01p	why bother... i don't know why i bother posting on here...i guess it makes me feel better to have somewhere to rant. someday, when i get my act together and build a website (proabbly summer sometime) i'll be getting more hits here and comments and such. wheeeee. anywho, my life is shit right now. i have to go tell penny that i officially quit swimming, which will not be fun. it's mostly because of that small incident with the stress and the breakdown and the psychologist and everyone trying to be helpful...the story of my life. and i have two more essays to write for tomorrow, one of which is in french, and the other of which has to look like an authentic letter from a WW1 soldier. oh, the excitement. i stayed overnight at dan's on saturday night and he noticed the cuts on my wrists. i told him to shut the fuck up so that no one else would notice, but he got all worried and shit. he wouldn't understand anyway. he would automatically think that it's a suicide thing, which it isn't (most of the time). it's a pain thing. and a blood thing. and a self-punishment thing. he would never understand that...no one ever does. i've never told anyone because they'd all think i'm a suicidal freak and ditch me, which would maybe not be the worst thing in the world. tracey cheated on doug last weekend. fucking retard. she has a nice boyfriend and the first thing she does is fuck up. if i got a bf i liked that much i wouldn't cheat. i cheated on chris because he was boring and not very good in bed. same with brandon. on second thought, brandon was just a fucking magg. well there's the story of my life...going out of town on weekends and finding scrawney, easily-dominated goth boys to fuck. yay. well i gotta go talk to penny...later. ~alida Current Mood: jealous Current Music: siouxsie and the banshees - rhapsody (Comment on this)
10:02p	I HATE HOMEWORK! really i do. i am in the middle of the second of three essays that are due tomorrow. this one is in french, and the next one has to look liek an authentic letter from a WW1 soldier. did i say this in my last entry? i think i did. oops...ah well. but this shit really is retarded. just because i was in the hospital all doped on morphine for the last four days i have only one night to write THREE full papers for three different classes. speaking of tripping out on morphine, i don't understand how anyone can be a narcotic addict. feeling that shitty and spaced all the time....ehhh. wow i'm listening to nirvana - how ironic. HEROIN IS BAD, KIDS! don't do h. bad bad bad. very bad. very bad. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M GOING FUCKING INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have to either shoot myself or quit school. or both. i'll let y'all know what i decide (hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahah i said "y'all" hahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahha). byebyebyebye fer nowwwwwww...... Current Mood: drained Current Music: nirvana - rape me (oh please do. fuck it) (1 Comment | Comment on this)

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