Current mood:	determined
Current music:	Siouxsie and the Banshees - Cities in Dust

I've decided I no longer give a shit.
About anything. I used to be the kind of person who tried to cover up the fact that she skips school and smokes and fucks guys who are 10 years older than her. Now I don't care anymore. I mean, if that's the worst I do, then I'm doing pretty well, it's not like those things are really that horrible.

I guess it's just that I used to be ashamed of who I am. I used to want to be the person other people thought I should be, trying to please other people. Telling Julie that "I'm quitting, just one more pack", or telling Brayden that he's the oldest guy I've ever been with, or telling Paula they screwed up the attendance list...I really was in class!

But I'm not a bad person, I make up my own mind about things...I don't drink or do drugs, even if my friends do. I don't sleep around, I just like older guys (and despite what you may think, it is possible to have a meaningful relationship with someone a lot older than you are, it doesn't have to be just about sex).

So basically I've decided that I'm not going to lie anymore. I'm not going to work my life around pleasing other people. I am going to try to be happy with the way I am. I am going to stop fasting for days in a row. I'm going to stop babysitting and get a decent job that doesn't involve any fucking children. I'm quitting that club volleyball team that I joined for someone else's sake.

AAAaaand, I'm going to leave now because I have to get Kelly a birthday present:) Laaater, my fiends.